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What Experience? We Have None​—​Deluxe Edition

by The BJ Experience

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  • Streaming + Download

    Immediate download of the exclusive deluxe edition of Oh No! Not Another BJ Experience Album 20-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire. Includes bonus digital booklet and music videos.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $5.55 USD  or more

     

1.
Love@Aol.com 03:12
You wake up in the morning and you run to your computer Go through the personals and try to pick a winner But you can't believe it's already time for dinner Oh well! You can't leave, you're just gonna have to get thinner Chorus: It's Love@Aol, it's got you under it's spell It's Love@Aol, and you can't leave your Dell It's Love@Aol, you might learn how to spell It's Love@Aol, where there is no hell You don't have any real friends and you don't care to Just as long as you can send an e-mail or two You don't want to eat or drink You don't even care if you turn into a sheep Just as long as you go to Love@Aol.com
2.
I called you with my cell phone While you where giving some other guy a bone I'm so sick of being alone Just another night to moan I better go take out a loan 'Cuz you stole everything I own And everything I've ever known You even stole my cell phone Chorus: That's the luck of me, I guess I'll never get lucky That's the luck of me, promises never kept That's the luck of me, I guess I'm just a duckie That's the luck of me, I haven't even slept Just as I thought I recovered My girl, she came over Just to tell me she found another Oh yeah, she was doing my drummer Chorus I lie in bed just thinking of you and you're pretty face When I'm with you I feel so... so in place All the pictures on my table they take up, so much space Baby why did ya have to spray me with that can of mase? Chorus (2x)
3.
No one ever calls me on my cell phone No one ever wants to call me, they don't call me on my cell phone I've got 500 minutes- 502 minutes but no one even wants to use one minute on my cell phone Why does anybody wanna call me? Is it my phone voice? I don't know I don't know, is it because I talk like this? Because I'm all muffled Is that it? Why doesn't anybody wanna call me on my cell phone I call Father Bloopy but Father Bloopy just hangs up on me he says "I don't have time to talk to you man, bye!" hangs up on me I call Tropical Barber but Tropical Barber is always gotta go smoke something so he never has time to talk to me on my cell phone I call the backup singers but the backup singers say this: "Oh like, I gotta go do my hair right so call me later, ok? Bye!" Y'know? So who else do I call? I call the AOL Movie Phone and 949 Zeta Concert Line Yup, I call computers on my cell phone Because computer will talk to me Computers understand me, that's what I have to do I can't call people, cuz people they just tell me I gotta go man, I'll call you later OK, bye! Why doesn't anybody wanna talk to me on my cell phone? I just don't get it, y'know I'm a nice guy I try to be funny on the cell phone I try to tell jokes to them when they talk to me but then they hang up on me...why! My cell phone never rings and if it does ring it's like the wrong number or something y'know Like this morning, at 5:30 this morning, I was still sleeping still and someone called me asking for room service They thought I was a hotel, can you believe that? It's true They thought I was a hotel! what's that!? Oh my god, I think my phone is ringing Hey, I think my phone is ringing Hello...this is BJ. You wanna talk to who? Jeff?! There is no Jeff here. This is BJ. Oh you got the wrong number? Will you talk to me anyways though? No? OK bye. You see! It was the wrong number. No one ever wants to talk to me on my cell phone.
4.
Just let me wear what I wanna wear Do what I wanna do Say what I wanna say 'Cuz I got rights too! And so do you!
5.
Old girl in the park, why are you there? You've got more stains on your lips then they kids do on their underwear Hey! Don't touch that kid there! It's not funny 'cuz they're not aware that you wanna take them into your van and play with them bare You tell them that you care when all that you want is a 12-year old to help you make a baby- if he dare It's a shame- the kids They have no choice but to stare While you prepare to get bare and dig down your underwear It's pretty sick if you think about it But it's gotta be sicker to be there, in your underwear For the 12-year old kid that dares Someone should tell the mayor if they gotta pair What you plan to do to those kids and their underwear It's just not fair! That you wanna tear into those so rare kids It's just not fair! That you know, you wanna tear into them when they're so damn rare Doesn't anyone care? Does anyone care anymore? Hey old girl in the park, by the way how old are you? 55! That's definitely not fair Old girl in the park, why are you there? Want a 12 year old to help you make a baby if he dare Old girl in the park, talk to me Tell me what's on your mind old girl in the park OG: Well, i'm just trying to meet new people. And I want someone young, someone fresh to help me make my baby BJ: But old girl you're 55 OG: I know I'm 55 you don't have to tell me that again. I know that, Ok? I'm going to be 56 next week. But I'm still able to have a baby. And I want that twelve year old over there to help me have a baby. BJ: Matt...come here Matt, your 12 years old. What do you think about her wanting you to help her concieve a baby MATT: Well, I'm only 12. Am I old enough to make a baby? BJ: I don't know Matt. I don't know, but you're going to find out because you're going to help her make one. OG: Yes Matt, let's go into my van right now and you'll take off all your clothes and we're going to make babies, OK Matt? MATT: OK old girl in park, if you say so. But I really don't know if it's such a good idea. I have to be home by six. OG: Be home by six? Matt, I'm going to have you home by midnight cuz I'm gonna make you...whoooo! MATT: What does that mean old girl in the park? OG: Matt, you'll find out. BJ: It's a very twisted story about an old girl in the park. And I just can't believe that someone can actually come up with something like that: Old girl in the park. She should leave the park. She's too old. Someone should tell the mayor...that...that guy was right. Someone should tell the mayor if they gotta pair. You know what, I'm going to tell the mayor. I'm going to the mayor's office right now. Bye.
6.
Chorus: All these bands All these bands All These Bands All these bands talkin' their crap Listen to all these bands running their mouth Listen to all these bands trying to play rap Listen to all these bands callin' themselves Ralph Listen to all these bands trying to lay the smack Listen to all these bands headin' down South Listen to all these bands look at them hack Listen to all these bands -- I don't think I wanna Chorus Now you're in a band talkin' your crap Now you're in a band runnin' your mouth Now you're in a band trying to play rap Now you're in a band calling yourself Ralph Now you're in a band tryin' to lay the smack Now you're in a band headin' down South Now you're in a band what do you lack? Now you're in a band -- basically you suck! Chorus Listen to all these bands talkin' their crap Listen to all these bands running their mouth Listen to all these bands trying to play rap Listen to all these bands headin' down South All these bands All these bands look at them hack All these bands I don't think I wanna All these bands basically you suck Now you're in a band talkin' your crap Now you're in a band runnin' your mouth Now you're in a band tryin to play rap Now you're in a band what do you lack? Now you're in a band basically you suck
7.
Put your pants back on! Please, I see brown spots! Oh my g*d, put your pants back on!
8.
You are the candle love's the flame A fire that burns through the wind and rain Shine your lights on this heart of mine Till the end of time You came to me like the dawn through the night Just shining like the sun Out of my dreams and in to my life You are the one you are the one. Said I loved you But I lied Cause this is more than love I feel inside Said I loved you but I was wrong Cause love can never ever feel so strong. Said I loved you but I lied. With all my soul I've tried in vain How can mere words my heart explain This tastes of heaven so deep so true That I've found in you So many reasons in so many ways My life has just begun Need you forever that I need you to stay You are the one you are the one Said I loved you but I lied Cause this is more than love I feel inside Said I loved you but I was wrong Cause love can never ever feel so strong. Said I loved you but I lied You came to me like the dawn through the night Just shining like the sun Out of my dreams and into my life You are the one you are the one Said I loved you but I lied Cause this is more than love I feel inside Said I loved you but I was wrong Cause love can never ever feel so strong Said I loved you, cause this is more than love I feel inside Said I loved you, But I lied
9.
Chorus: Things that make my ass itch Standing in line at the drug store, that makes my ass itch Listening to that hardcore, that makes my ass itch Falling asleep on the dirty floor, that makes my ass itch Getting hit on the head by the car door, that makes my ass itch Chorus Giving a bum money and him asking for more, that makes my ass itch Being so damn poor, that makes my ass itch Getting called out to the war, that makes my ass itch Finding out my girlfriend's a little whore, that makes my ass itch Chorus Getting harrased by the MickeyD's bum, that makes my ass itch Carrying a big keyboard up and down the stairs, that makes my ass itch Having to go pee in the middle of my show, that makes my ass itch Getting stopped every morning by the security guard, that makes my ass itch These are all... Chorus (2x)
10.
Not for me to say but when I saw your face today I saw something strange, unnormal, something which I'd rather not say O.K. fine! I'll tell you but you have to promise not to slap me around this place I saw a Tay on you, a Tay on you, I'm telling you I saw a Tay on you, a Tay on you, Tay on you Now you're gonna wanna hit me But our deal was set, you made your bet you did! You had a Tay on you, a Tay on you, I'm telling you You had a Tay on you, a Tay on you, no foolin' you I saw a Tay on you, a Tay on you, I'm telling you I saw a Tay on you, a Tay on you, Tay on you
11.
LEX 7: What the hell is your problem! Don't you listen when Roger gives you cue? See BJ this is what I'm talking bout! BJ: Whoa! In case you're forgetting this is the BJ Experience. You don't tell me what to do. LEX 7: Excuse me, why would you have a band if you don't want anybody to participate. I mean, in your life is it me, me, me, me, me, me cuz that's what it seems like to me! BJ: Basically yes...that's the way it's always been in my life. Especially when I'm recording an album and I want it to be right and you're singing the wrong damn stuff! LEX 7: Well I freakin' quit! So you can be a BJ no band having guys sittin in the corner, with a microphone, with a hat in front of them- having to ask for money when they sing BJ: Quit? Quit! You can take Shalom, you can take Tropical Barber, Frank Daddy, it don't matter to me. LEX 7: Kiss my ass BJ! BJ: I don't wanna kiss your ass it's too damn big! LEX 7: Bitch! You and your---you're lucky you have us! You're lucky you have me, Shalom, freakin' Tropical Barber, Roger, anybody whose willing to go to your damn show. That's right, kiss it! You're so confusing to me One minute your nice the next your mean I don't wanna take it no more It's time for us to settle the score Just yesterday you were so nice to me But now I think you hate me Why? Because of him, because of me Because I picked you up at 12 passed 3 and now you're late! Chorus: You've got to switch your personality I don't know what's wrong with you 'Cuz the things you do are so damn rude You've got to switch your personality Because the things you do are so damn rude You've got to switch your personality You never wanna hang out with me You always have something better to do You only call me when it's time to whine You never have anything to say that's new What are you jealous? So what if I hang out with all the fellas I love them and they love me I'm just helping to spread out a world of peace What's wrong with that? CHORUS You have a new guy at every one of my show You thought that I'd never know All the lies that you've told to me Can't you see that the only one that would be there for you will be me! Bro, I love you man I wouldn't do anything to hurt you But if you can't ?? with me Then I'll juts have to let it be CHORUS I wish you could understand the things that you do And that I'll always always care about you The love I have for you is something I can't hide I just wanna stop fighting with you I love you BJ And if it's quite alright I need you BJ To all the lonely nights Let me love you BJ, let me love you CHORUS
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about

The second full-length came along in early 2001. After 5x5, the band disbanded for a little bit, reconfigured in various unstable configurations, and in fact, this album was recorded with the help of many friends because of the instability. The results, however, do not show any sign of this and feature the bands unique social attack and satire as well as some excellent musicality. Unfortunately, the strong effort did not strike a hard chord with the fans; partly due to the bands inability to properly promote the record as well as inability to recreate their studio sound live. Another set back was the release date, originally slated for March, but not officially released until May 5th 2001.

This deluxe edition was beautiful remastered in 2011 and features live bonus tracks and studio out-takes.

credits

released May 5, 2001

Produced by Roger Houdaille & The BJ Experience.

Recorded on the Dippy Records Mobile Studio - February-March 2001. Mixed and mastered by Roger Houdaille March 2001.

Personnel
BJ: Vocals & Hidden Drums
Father Bloopy: Guitars, Bass, Piano, Sleigh Bells, Vocals
Tropical Barber: Drums, Guitars, Vocals
featuring
New Guy: Guitar
Frank Daddy: Trumpet, Organ
Shalom: Backing Vocals
Lex 7: Backing Vocals
also with
The Refugee: Latin Percussion
A Lo: Violin
Carrot Cake: Classical Guitar
Churro Distance: Backing Vocals
Ghetto Girl: Flute

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The BJ Experience Miami Beach, Florida

Quite possibly one of the best bands to emerge out of the 41st Street area in the early 2000's.

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